‘L’ is for the way you look at me. ‘O’ is for the only one who shares with me openly about your irregular bowel movement cycles and the visuals of each dump. ‘V’ and ‘E’ don’t matter as much anymore because even with ‘O’ making its rounds in a strong, passionate relationship, love still manages to conquer all.
By Penny C
Long term relationships harbour a beautiful shared history of two individuals coming together, bringing their own unique palettes to a blank canvas and creating an abstract mess of understanding and comfort. That’s what love has always been about, right? All the unpleasant squabbles, the pleasant reconciliations. But there’s also always a point where the inevitable invites itself into a relationship – you’ve acknowledged that the honeymoon has lost most of its sweetness and a diminishing crescent has formed.
The endearing habits which once were have now become a challenge to endure. To help your imagination a bit, recall the scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall when Jason Segel’s character, Peter Bretter bares all and gives little Johnny a full swing in front of Sarah. I’m sure that’s something only he does with her and yeeep, it’s only funny once.
Dear couples out there, what’s your stand on bad habits and downright weird ones that intrude into each other’s privacy (do note that ‘me time’ still exists even in a long term relationship)? I know that some couples establish very simple ground rules to ensure as much sanity as they possibly can. Such ‘rules’ would be to never look at the female when she’s putting on make-up, never look at the sanitary male while he’s clipping his toenails or always remember to have the bathroom door closed whenever either one is answering nature’s call.
You must be thinking, “You mean I can’t even fiddle with my toes in front of you? They’re feet for goodness sake!” We get that you’re being yourself but sometimes, the essence of a relationship don’t recognise this strange phenomenon of singular conduct. Such behaviour is now deemed as uncouth. Habits die hard and Rebecca, 26, turns a blind eye to her long term boyfriend’s tendency to be, well, himself. “I’m beginning to learn more about him every day,” She says almost cataleptically when she realised how he enjoys lounging about in his favourite pair of red underpants which were a gift from his mother eons ago. The thing about relationships is that they bypass ‘me’ and proceed to ‘we’. But we all know well not to challenge the system.
Staying together for a period long enough to see your baby cousins grow into their teens definitely affects your lifestyle and daily routines. Even though you refuse to listen, some adamant partners still choose to share strange toilet habits and have open conversations about an erratic digestive system. Right, now you can’t leave the supermarket as quickly as you used to because you’re at the toiletries section, standing before glorious rows of air fresheners, deciding which scent would best disguise your partner’s after-poo pong.
Sure, each couple has their own kind of fun but how much is enough? So what do you do to curb these unwelcome jolts of surprises and uncharacteristic talk? Home “rules” may seem really stupid in the beginning but it takes a mature mind to understand its benefits.
When it comes to the day when being together means anticipating wedding bells, some of those crudity will have to go. Joseph, 29, says that his girlfriend of 6 years would still have him bemused each time she decides that it’s funny to ring him up whenever she’s taking a dump. “I can’t believe I’m going to marry this girl,” he says in jest. Like how 18th century ophthalmologist, Joseph Barth puts it, “Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.”
Now what say you about having a stand and putting these unprecedented but harmless jokes about each other’s idiosyncrasies to a stop? That disturbing belching, brazen toilet humour and unconscious crotch scratching will one day have your loved one taken aback. Stop grossing each other, seriously. You’re in this for the long run and you can’t (though you really can if you try hard enough) still be taking the mickey out of each other when you’re 50. That’s just being senile. Until then, take love into your own hands; resist the urge to be repulsive. Love means never having to say “Wait for it…..” every time before you fart.
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